I had to go look up the picture of new father Daniel Craig that useless penile support system Piers Morgan made fun of. There it is. It’s a funny-looking picture: A middle-aged dad in a baseball cap, with an unshaven face, squinting through his glasses as he cradles his baby protectively (even though the baby is quite secure in the papoose). Hahaha, James Bond reduced to carrying a baby.

But that’s not James Bond. That’s Daniel Craig. James Bond is a fictional character. Daniel Craig is a real person. James Bond is a fantasy of hypermasculinity. Daniel Craig is a husband and father whose work life happens to include pretending to be a fantasy of hypermasculinity.

I think Piers Morgan’s root problem here is being unable to tell the difference between a fictional character and a Real Man. Masculinity doesn’t look like James Bond; it looks like Daniel Craig schlepping his baby.